Story by Elizabeth Juengling
Photos courtesy of Darkroom/Interscope Records
The People’s Choice Female Artist of the Year, Billie Eilish, released a new single titled “everything i wanted” on Nov. 13, 2019.
Eilish used her typical musical stylings such as distorted sound, reverb, whisper singing and haunting harmonies. One of the most notable production fascists is the clever use of feigned distance and intentional muffle at the line “I tried to scream / But my head was underwater.”
The song covers the very dark, but real, theme of suicide. Eilish reportedly found inspiration in a nightmare. In an interview with Annie Mac of BBC Radio 1, Eilish said, “I literally had a dream that I killed myself and nobody cared and all of my best friends basically came out in public and said, like ‘Oh, we never liked her… In the dreams the fans didn’t care.’”
— BBC Radio 1 (@BBCR1) November 14, 2019
This isn’t the first time Eilish has written about her dreams, in fact she often writes about her experiences with sleep paralysis. Her 2x Multi-Platinum Debut Album, “WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO?” revolves around nightmares and lucid dreaming.
However, the song has a silver lining in Eilish’s brother and best friend, Finneas O’Connell, better known by the stage name of FINNEAS. Eilish said, “the message behind the song is like […] my brother is my best friend… and no matter what happens he’s gonna always be there for me.”
Eilish, 17, has always had a close relationship with her brother. He produces most of her music, often co-writes with her, and even tours with her. He co-wrote and produced “everything i wanted.” He is a major support system as he is with her every step of the way while she is navigating the spotlight.
The cover art, an abstract painting of the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, CA, has specific significance to the song as it is a common location of suicides. In the first verse Eilish described her dream, saying, “Thought I could fly / So I stepped off the Golden.” The ethereal nature and pastel colors of the cover art pose quite a juxtaposition to the macabre nature of the song.
While this song might be a bit to solemn to make it into radio playlists, it definitely has charting capability. Eilish’s loyal fans will definitely savor the new music and make sure Eilish knows that they truly care about her. The song has endless potential because it has a relatable inspiration paired with a poised commentary on the value of true friendship and the social stigma of suicide.
Click below to listen to “everything i wanted”: